20100321

100 个对不起。。

今天期中考,学校早一点放学,我打了通电话给他。

:喂,我今天比较早放学,你来载我回家好不好?

:好,等我五分钟。

:五分钟?我学校就在你家旁边耶。

:我总要打扮一下啊。

:好啦,快一点喔。

下午2:00,太阳大的让我有种冲动想喷鼻血,我站在树荫下挥动着手,虽然没凉到哪里去,但是煽总比不煽好。

五分钟过了,他还没来,我看看手表,有点不高兴,十分钟过了,他还没到..,该不会出了什么事吧?呸呸呸...乌鸦嘴,十五分钟过了,他总算到了。

:怎么这么慢?

他一副无所谓的样子说:没啊,看个电视。

什么?看个电视?你要不要顺便睡个觉洗个澡吃个饭再来?我没有说话,没有拿安全帽,没有上车的瞪着他。

:对不起。


  这是他第一次对我说对不起,他是一个很大男人主义,爱面子的男生,所以他从不像女生低头说对不起,我看着他,好吧,似乎面有惭色,我带上安全帽,让他载我回家。

他总是这样,从来不解释,不争论,不跟我吵架,只跟我说对不起,有些事,不是一句对不起就能解决的,但是他都跟我道歉了,我也就没再追究下去,他说,我是第一个让他说对不起的女生。

认错需要很大的勇气,但是他从来都没有改进他的错误,对不起反而变成一种打发我的话。在他说第59次对不起时,我流着泪,低下头说:你不要再跟我说对不起了,如果你无法改变,就不要让我给你一次又一次的机会,相信你会改变。他轻轻的拥着我,说了第60句对不起。

虽然如此,他还是没有改变,不做任何的解释,我开始怀疑他是不是有事瞒着我。

:你最近怎么了?

:没有啊。

:那你为什么心情不好?

:没有啊。

:又是没有啊,你除了这句话以外没有别的吗?你知不知道我很担心,很没有安全感,你到底有没有当我是你女朋友?

:...对不起。

:我不要听你说对不起。

我挂了电话,他也没有打来,他根本就不在乎我,也许,我们该结束ㄌ..........这是他说的第99句对不起....。

从那天开始,我再也没有找过他,他也没有打电话给我,有时候,我会接到一通无声的电话,但是我喂了几声,就挂了,有一种直觉是他,但是他为什么都不说话?一个月之后,我按奈不住思念的心情决定到他学校找他,我在教室外东张西望的,就是没有看到他的人影,我随便抓了一个男生来问。

:同学,请问一下,梦伟今天有来吗?

:他休学了。

:啊?为什么?什么时候的事?

:他已经一个月没来了。

:...喔..谢谢。一个月..一个月没来,怎么会呢?

我跌跌撞撞的回到家..拨他的手机:您的电话已经为您转到语音信箱,请在嘟一声...。我挂了电话,打到他家,响了好久都没有人接,怎么会?全家移民吗?他仿佛是从这世界上消失了一样,没有一点痕迹。   他该不会另结新欢了吧?我开始胡思乱想,我找不到他..,正当我烦恼的时候,电话突然响了,是阿立打来的,他是梦伟的死党也是我的好友。

:喂,你还在干嘛啊?

:什么?

:ㄚ伟在医院啦。

:真的?他怎么了?

:没有啦,他在○○医院,就是你上次住的那一家。

:我马上去。

我立刻用我出生以来最大的速度飙到那家医院,在医院看到了他****和妈妈,我向他们问了他在哪一间病房之后,就急忙的飞奔而去。

他躺在床上,眼睛看着我,没有说话,没有起床,一动也不动的。

:喂,你怎么了?为什么不通知我呢?

他没有回答我,只是一直用同样的眼神看着我。

:回答我啊,你为什么不说话?

他眼角留下了一滴泪,身体仿佛用了最大的力气,牵动着嘴角

:...对不起...。说完,他闭上了眼睛。

:喂,你别装了好不好,为什么要说对不起,我不要你说对不起啊,你起来啊,回答我啊。

我哭倒在他床边,拉着他的衣服哭喊着:你为什么要说对不起,连说服我的理由都没有?我不会原谅你,你起来啊,你说对不起没有用啊,你不起来我这辈子都不会原谅你,我求求你....睁开眼睛啊...。

这是他说的一百句对不起...一群医生和护士拉开我,开始抢救他,我全身没有力气再站起来,我的头脑一片空白,眼前一片漆黑..。

他没有离开这个世界,只是我永远都无法触摸到他,但他有时也会在我的梦中出现,告诉我他过的好不好。

他还是陪着我,还是活着,在我心里,他依然如昔,还是会笑着叫我咏熙,叫我老婆,只是..他不再对我说对不起了...。

过了几个月,他妈妈来找我,给了我一个盒子,里面装的,是一百张照片,每一张照片的背面,都写着它让我生气的事情。

第一次对不起,老婆,我今天不是故意迟到的,我也知道理由很烂,但是我真的不忍心说实话,我在出门前突然心脏绞痛,但是我已经尽量赶了,原谅我好吗?第二次对不起?老婆,我..........

第三次对不起,老婆,我...

................................

............................

...................

................

...........

.........

.....

第一百次对不起,老婆,我不是狠心要丢下你,只是上帝似乎不给我这个机会让我爱你一辈子,为你带上戒指,你是我第一个让我说对不起的女孩,也是我第一个想共度一生的女孩,原谅我不能给你幸福,我会化作天使,守护着你,看着你得到幸福,答应我,别哭,我不要看到你为了我憔悴流泪的样子,我爱你。bye 梦伟

我怎么可能不哭,你的要求太严苛了,最后一张照片,是他在医院理拍的,照片上他笑的很灿烂,他变的好瘦,脸色好苍白,但是他还是露出了笑容,拍这第

一百张照片。

在他最虚弱罪痛苦的时候,我没有陪着他。

对不起。

我抱着他的照片,泪流不止!

愿天下所的情人.愿你们能珍惜眼前的人,不要失去后才懂得珍惜...不要让悲剧再次上演!

如果我還一直深愛著你...你是否還會待在我身邊?

如果我還一直在乎著你...你是否會再多看我一眼?

是否我已不存在了...你才感覺的到我的離開?

是否我已離開了....你才感覺的到我對你的好?

在此祝福全天下所以的有情人~都能夠忠誠眷屬~~'


[好感动哦。。 我不停地哭出来。。]

20100319

今天去roller的日记。。?

今天跟慧莹,秀丽,威融,啊龙去金河玩roller ^^
玩到很爽。。

今天早上看到电话有sms...
是秀丽讲她不去了。。
因为她老豆在家。。
过后我跟威融和慧莹讲。。
威融本来讲取消的。。
他讲我好像不爽。。
就讲有去了。。
本来我是刚刚起身。。
很blur...

等到十点半。。
本来是搭LRT去的。。
我爸爸突然说可以载我们。。
也满好啦。。
坐LRT很日,又很多种味道。。
臭臭!!

准备要出门时。。
我跟慧莹说我去她家再一起搭LRT去。。
她突然在我家楼下。。
所以就一起出门咯。。
没想到。。慧莹会穿粉红色。。
不是慧莹。。 是没想到我会穿粉红色。。!!
然后我们出门。。
去载秀丽。。
到了秀丽家。。
看到秀丽也是穿粉红色。!!
哇。。
我想。。 威融一定会讲我们plan好了。。
然后,爸爸就载我们去TimeSquare。。
到了TimeSquare。。
秀丽带我们走很多shortcut!
不到一分钟都到了Roller场。。

我们买了票。。
进去。。
换了鞋再放bag。。
就跟威融他们玩。。

玩了一阵天。。
认识到一些人。。
一位小妹妹叫做慧仪。
十四岁的。。
特地在我们面前拌可爱。。
用可爱的声音跟我们讲话。。
“姐姐。。教我玩可以吗?”
姐姐?! 我们看起来还年轻过你呢!
blekk!! >=P
还有一班女生。。
超美的美女。。
跟我们做了朋友
而且一直逼我做火车头。。T^T
然后。。
慧莹和秀丽收了两个新来的徒弟。。
两位妹妹都好可爱哦。。
一位是十三岁,一位是十四岁。。
我们在那边好像很老哦。。
全部都是小妹妹。。
是啊。。
然后又见到那个死家健。。
在那儿lcly
他不会PK我不姓黄!!
哦!
我也看到凯迪哥哥。。
他好厉害哦!
羡慕死了!
但。。凯迪哥哥怎么知道我这几天会心情不好呢??
算了。。

玩了几下。。
我们全部都得了重伤。。
秀丽脚流血。。
慧莹脚脱皮到很够力。。
我得了黑青。。而且差一点开一之马。。
威融跌到屁股痛。 xD
啊龙一直跌。。 可怜。。
就这样我们就玩完了。。

过后。。
去GASoline吃东西。。
吃完了。。
散步一下。。
再去打机场
。。。
去打机场做什么。。?
打机咯。。 不然?
哈哈。。
过后,就这样回家了。。
我最不喜欢回家了。。
很闷。。

半路回家。。
我又PK多一次!!
而且在路上!!
痛死了。。

回到家。。
哥哥跟我抢电脑玩。。
算咯。。
我去冲凉先。。
冲完凉。。
哥哥才给我用。。
用。。 用到现在。。
傍晚哥哥一定要用回。。
又不可以跟威融聊天了。。
sienn。。。

我关咯。。
要跟威融聊天。。
拜拜。。!

20100317

張韶涵-遺失的美好

海的思念綿延不絕 終於和天 在地平線交會
愛如果走得夠遠 應該也會跟幸福相見

承諾常常很像蝴蝶 美麗的飛 盤旋然後不見
但我相信你給我的誓言 就像一定會來的春天

我始終帶著你愛的微笑 一路上尋找我遺失的美好
不小心當淚滑過嘴角 就用你握過的手抹掉
再多的風景也從不停靠 只一心尋找我遺失的美好
有的人說不清哪裡好 但就是誰都替代不了

承諾常常很像蝴蝶 美麗的飛 盤旋然後不見
但我相信你給我的誓言 就像一定會來的春天

我始終帶著你愛的微笑 一路上尋找我遺失的美好
不小心當淚滑過嘴角 就用你握過的手抹掉
再多的風景也從不停靠 只一心尋找我遺失的美好
有的人說不清哪裡好 但就是誰都替代不了

在最開始的那一秒 有些事早已經注定要到老
雖然命運來開玩笑 真心會和真心遇到

我始終帶著你愛的微笑 一路上尋找我遺失的美好
不小心當淚滑過嘴角 就用你握過的手抹掉
再多的風景也從不停靠 只一心尋找我遺失的美好
有的人說不清哪裡好 但就是誰都替代不了

20100315

☆ 15.03.2010 ☆

I don't think i can smile for anyone again...
Trying to do a fake smile... practicing really hard...

Today morning, woke up about 9am then went to wash maii face and do all the other stuffs... then only go online. Chat with Yun kor kor about later go sing k de plan... After that, it was about 11.45. i woke Aniki up. Aisehh... so hard to wake him up... After waking him up, he got ready and we headed for LRT station...

At the LRT station, we waited so long for the Train, finally come and we headed to Pandan Jaya and meet up with Yun kor kor and Jumoi... Weee~ all of us wear Black! Yo! xD

After that, we reached Hang Tua and we walk and walk and walk. Till we reached Sungai Wang. We went up to Green Box there... Aiseh. No room.. 4pm only got room. Ok loh.. then book first.. After that we went makan at Kim Gary. Ahh.. speaking of Kim Gary, i wan complaint something! The Curry French Fries arr... haiz... Say is Curry French Fries but no Curry taste.. worst! No taste at all!! But after eating awhile.. suddenly feel like got the Uncle Bob taste ... haha...

After that we went upstairs.. we wait loh.. While waiting, we went to the nearby stage there and sat. Me and my brother went up there and dance Sorry Sorry. Haha.. so funny. Luckly no one saw.. After that we lepak there until about 3.52pm. Yun kor kor went to ask got room or not.. they ask for our IC or student card.. so we give loh...  then they say our room not yet ready... then we wait and wait untill they call my name..

Finally we went in to sing... weee~ i record so many.. later next post i upload <3 xD Soon, it was 6pm already. We have to go le.. but we kept singing and singing and singing.. until it was 6.45pm. We only Se Dak go.. xD After that, we went Giant to find mommy and we went home.

and now.. I'm at home.. blogging while hearing the recordings...

Today i don't want to say anything sad.. i don't wan thoes sad things to distroy my blog ^^

okay la.. i goin to post up our singing... Tata

20100314

survey... and... LOVE

May I have your name please?
No you cant! Find ur own name!

And, for the sake of all surveys everywhere, how old might you be?
I'll be legal soon :)

Are there always other fish in the sea?
Well, there's codfish and jellyfish, which isn't really a fish and tuna and mackerel and salmon, which doesn't live in the sea most of the time and clownfish and seabass and.. This could take a while.

How is your New Years resolution[s] going? Assuming you made one.
I does not has lul.

Would you say you are clumsy or graceful?
Clumsy to the n-th power.

Would you rather: Swim in the ocean or Climb a mountain?
Water. I CHOOSE YOU!

Whose the last person to call you?
My mom. Confused as usual.

Have you bought any clothing items in the last week?
Mario and Milo shirt =3

Who will you be with Saturday night?
Family...

Are you forgiving?
No.

Were you happy when you woke up today?
I was too bleary to comprehend emotion.

Could you go out in public looking like you do now?
NO!!! maii new hairstyle sucks!

Have you accidentally sent a text to the wrong person?
Nope.

Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?
Nevar!

Ever feel like you’re not good enough?
Everytime...

If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you?
I would have studied harder XD

Do you think that you will ever live a happy life with somebody someday?
With my special someone <3

Is there someone in your life you don't want in it?
Perhaps.

If someone gave you $1,000 would you spend it or save it?
Save half and try not to spend the other half too quickly.

Have you ever cried from laughing so hard?
spilled blood.... xDD

Is it easier to forgive or forget?
Neither.

What do you think of girls who steal other girl's men?
Bitch please.

Do you like the color blue?
Yep.

Do you hide your feelings, or express them?
I express with rainbows and swear words.

Is there anyone in your life who you never thought would have as much of an effect on you than they actually do now?
Yes.

Have you ever been casted in a school play?
LOL YES.

Let's say you had a baby with the last person you liked?
OMG!

If you were in the hospital would your number one come see you?
She had better or I'd hobble out and put her into hospital with me XD

Did you know that pickles have no calories?
No i don't.. and i don't care. BLEKK

Are you ever gonna get married?
Yeah. To that special someone.

Would you ever move far away from your family and friends to be with the love of your life?
Yes.

Are you someone who over analyzes everything or are you completely carefree?
both =]

The last person you liked calls you. What are they calling you for?
"I miss u..."

Is your hair longer than your shoulders?
No la! just cut only.. mau ejek issit?

Why aren't you in bed?
cuz i'm waiting to get sleepy....

How many hours of sleep did you get last night?
Not much....

Who do you miss?
Someone ...

What would you do if you walked in on the last person you liked having sex?
Laugh at him maniacally, take several pictures for the internet and throw all his clothes out the window.

What was the last thing you did before doing this survey?
Take out the trash XD

Ever purposely broken your iPod/phone just for a new one?
actually i did once.. but cuz i wuz too stress and maii couz wuz annoying

Did the last person you like have piercings?
No.. he said he wuz gonna have one...

What are you doing tomorrow?
Goin Chiong K wif The Brothers~<3

Can a boy and girl be friends without having feelings for each other?
One of my best friends is male.

If you had to choose between a million dollars or be able to change a regret?
ahhh!! so hard to choose!

If someone wanted to tell you how they felt, would you listen?
Sure. Except if they felt emo. Then I would shoot them to save them the trouble.

Do you still talk to the last person you liked?
Sometimes.

Does the person you like, like you back?
HE'D BETTER.

Did you meet anyone new recently?
Yea!

Has the last person you liked ever took their shirt off in front of you?
No No No No No... NEVAR... xD

Think to the last person you liked, have you ever kissed them on a bed?
x da...

Ever heard the saying "to get over someone, get under someone else?"
No....

Five months ago, can you remember who you liked?
I.. din't like anyone back then..

What if you woke up beside the last person to call you?
ZOMG!


喜欢,是一种心情
爱,是一种感觉

喜欢,是一种淡淡的爱
爱,则是一中深深的喜欢

喜欢,是一种直觉
爱,是一种感觉

喜欢,可以停止
爱,没有休止

喜欢一个人,特别自然
爱一个人,特别坦然

喜欢一个人,有时盼和她在一起
爱一个人,有时怕和她在一起

喜欢一个人,不停地与她争执
爱一个人,不停地为她付出

喜欢一个人,希望她可以随时找到自己
爱一个人,希望自己可以随时找到她

喜欢一个人,总是为她而笑
爱一个人,总是为她而哭

喜欢,是执著
爱,是值得

喜欢就是喜欢,很简单
爱就是爱,很复杂

喜欢你,却不一定会爱你
爱你,就一定很喜欢你

20100306

My Morning ♥

Konichiwaa...

Just came back from Basketball ♥
Today morning.. woke up like about 7am!! Then ii like keep waiting for message..=3
Then maii beloved♥brother... call me go play basketball.. Since i'm wide awake.. Just go lorr...
Reach there.. sit awhile.. then rain already >
ii walk back first lorr.. cuz maii gorr got bicycle marr...but thenn.. ii forgot to help him take the things.. Gomen!!
Then then.. all say wann go makan.. Actually go Abdul Hassan de... but then there no place le..
So all pergi mamak lain... We makan also eat same thing only... Maggie Goreng tamau Pedas.. dan teh ais 1!
After that.. everyone went back to Taman Dagang basketball court continue play basketball lorr...
ii one game also din't get to play.. haiz...But then... something happen.. Hehe....

x da la! not my boiifren la.. bwahahaha... ii took maii gor's car and drive.. from basketball court there drive till Tok Zai's house.. weee~ So Song...xD hehe..

yeaa.. so now ii'm at home... chatting with Tok Zai's kao fu [Amethyst] about love♥love de things... Haha..

20100302

what's with my language??

Hello People =3

Yes, ii know, long time did'nt update already..
Happend so many things...
like...

Febuary 25th 2010

went sungai wang roller with Erica, Elli,Alwin,Xiiao Ku and Jiun Ming
totally fun .. well.. not until Alwin and Jiun Ming went home SO early...
Yea.. nothing speacial... =]


Febuary 26th and 27th 2010

Actually ii'm goin Time Square with Chris,Ken,Wu and Arial...
but end up ii'm goin to Port Dickson...
RawR!! Went there first few hours ii spend it with Tok Zai..
aiya.. Keep talking on the phone...
Munn Seii Yann lorr...
So ii went to find Nii-chan..
weee~ Relax at the pondok there...
feeling the sea breez...
NICE! <3 The best part about Port Dickson.
Yea... so 2 of my day is like this spend loh...


Febuary 28th 2010

Went to church.. After that came back..
Then we some how went to Jusco with Nii-chan,Julian-chan,Meng Meng,FEEDER and Aniki-kunn...
we played in the kiddies games there...
then we ate at Kim Gary.. YUMMY <3
My first time eating maggie in Kim Gary . wakakakak...


March 1st 2010

Weeee~ Reached home, awhile then Dee-sempaii ajak Aniki-kunn go gai gai..
so ii also follow lurr...
Go meet up with Dee-sempaii in Time Square..
we went to Sungai Wang's Kim Gary ..[hehe... Kim Gary again.. ii ish rich mehh...xD]
purposly wann go there kacau Zhen Yu-kunn...
After mam mam.. we go Roller~ Weeeee~
Dee-Sempaii!! Good Job nyaa! Learn for an hour already improve alot! <3
Jia You Sempaii!!
After that... we went shopping~ <3
Mii bought 1 shirt.. Mario and Milo. xixi.. Got 1 Mario and Baby Milo picture..
kawaii nehhh!! xD
Then then.. we meet up with Mammiee...
Aniki bought a shirt from Sub..
it suits him alot! <3
After that... we wann go home le..
but very big rain..
no choiice lurr..
Dee-sempaii and Aniki share 1 umbrella...
Mii use one and mammie use one..
ii kiip goin to thoes puddles xD
So Fun!
But end up ii got wet.. very very wet xD
Reach home... Sick sick le T^T
Mii head pain... then ii chat with Alwin-kunn awhile...
then ii go Oi oi... =3


March 2nd 2010

It's today~ <3
Today went to school like normal day lurrhh...
And did normal things...
Mii actually very sickk wann..
then ii masa rehatt...
Dunno wadd happenn... ii suddenly okay le ^^
After school... Dee-sempaii sms mii say wann bring mii go mam mam..
ii dunn wann follow...
Then ii stay in school for awhile... play basketball....
After that..we have to wait 4 Mickey mui mui for pengawas meeting.. T^T
So darn long nyaa!!
Finally finishh...
then Mii,Arial jie jie,Mickey mui mui and Ken-chan went mam mam at Modernn =3
Makan finishh... Go home lurrr~
Whole gang walk to LRT station.. so funny xD
All so many things to talk nyaaaa xD
I likey 
Wunn feel lonely mehh.... xD
Then then.. Reach LRT station..
All seperate lurr...
Mii goin home by Train marr...
Arial Jie jie and Mickey Mui mui Sit bus go home...
Ken-chan lives near by only...
So Mii went up..
like nothing to talk only... x[
Then lidatt... i reach home lerr...
Nyaaaaa.... Last credit gipp to maii Gong Gong...

Kayy la...
Mii wann opp Bloggie..
wann continuee mii's singing xD
Later rainning!! xD
Bai Bai... Muacks!

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